On being a people pleaser...

Sometimes I wish I was more like a little kid and when I didn't like someone I could simply shove them down on the playground. It's really the best conflict resolution when you think about it, you tell the kid to eat that fake bark the playgrounds are always lined with, they get a clear idea of how you feel, and you move on.  Instead I find myself, the people pleasing idiot, trying to get the person I really want to shove down on the playground to like me. It's this bizarre thing where the ruder someone is to me, the nicer I become to them. It sounds all sweet and kind of me but really all it does is teach this person that this is an acceptable way to treat me. And while yes, Jesus was kind to everyone, he also wasn't afraid to give people the what for. Surely there is some middle ground between being a pusher and being a doormat?

I feel like I really want to be less golden rule, and a lot more this---

My dad used to read me a story about Big Bird and Ernie. Ernie complained a lot and got every one's sympathy and attention and Big Bird would say, "Nobody cares about me, just Ernie, Ernie, Ernie." Now the moral of the story was to not be jealous, but I always wanted to tell Ernie to put on his big boy pants and get over it. Just because Ernie was having a bad day doesn't mean that it was ok for him to be rude to Big Bird. Why does the person that acts out always get catered to while the person that is nice and does the right thing gets walked all over? Maybe I should start being more like irritating Ernie and less like nice, stupid Big Bird.

It sounds like a terrible goal- to be less nice to rude people, but I'm sick of getting walked all over all the time and never sticking up for myself. Life has taught me to be your own advocate, you can't wait for someone else to stick up for you, you have to take care of yourself and teach others how you will and won't be treated.

So for starters, I'm going to ask the people I took dinner to to please give me back my casserole dish. I only have one in that size, I use it all the time, it's been like 2 months, and I would like it back. So watch out accidental casserole dish thieves.

And the next time someone comes up to me and tells me that I need to buy my baby special shampoo so that he can grow hair, I'm going to tell that person that my bald baby is perfect the way he is and I wouldn't change a thing about him. So watch out nosy strangers.

And most of all, I'm going to start putting into relationships what I get out of them. No more unequal balance. And if someone acts like they don't want a relationship with me, then that's exactly what they're going to get. So watch out Ernie! Big Bird is on to you....