Everyone is on the edge of their seats in breathless anticipation wondering what does Paige think of the mysteries of life? What is her storied opinion on literally every possible subject? Exactly what is swirling through that beautiful brain of hers? I HAVE TO KNOW.
Never fear, adoring public, never fear. You shall soon have answers to all your burning questions in the upcoming blog rant sure to appease and delight all eight of Paige's blog readers.
The suspense is just killing you, isn't it?
Well I decided to probe my thoughts and feelings about the existential mysteries of life because I stay at home with two tiny children, I work part time, my house is currently being de-flooded, we just got in a car accident, and I have to deal with all the insurance agencies in the world and I totally have time to sit and worry about this stuff. Totally. Let's nail all this down, it's the most pressing thing right now.
In actuality, I watched Josh respond to someone about what I thought about church the other day in what can only be described as a state of frenzied and slightly manic confusion, and I thought to myself, hmm I guess he, and everyone else could use some more clarity on the subject. I don't ever want to feel like my opinions are something that I need to hide or sugarcoat or be ashamed of. It's not an embarrassing dirty secret that I don't go to church anymore. And I refuse to feel ashamed about it. I didn't start experimenting with crystal meth, I examined a set of personal beliefs I had and decided they were no longer serving me in the way I wanted them to.
Side musing: I wonder why we feel so entitled to everyone else's personal religious beliefs. There are some private things we give each other and let each person have whatever opinion about it that they have and trust that it has no bearing on our own personal life, but weirdly religion doesn't seem to be one of those things. Like when the Jehovah's Witness yelled at me on my front lawn while I was playing with my kids and demanded to know then and there what I thought about God. And I was like, "Um hi, I'm Paige. And you are?"
I still feel the same way I felt in February about everything (see a couple posts back.) But I am disappointed with myself on one front. The entire reason I stopped going to church was so that I could hold my personal opinions (the ones that were contrary to the church's) loudly and proudly and without embarrassment. In a lot of ways I feel I've failed at that. I either hold those opinions up strongly and then lose my footing when someone questions me about church attendance. Or I slip back into the familiar feeling of being a church member, and begin to mute my opinions.
Side musing: I hate the phrase "stopped going to church" like maybe I just don't want to go and that's why I'm not going, rather than making a thoughtful, conscience choice about it. I also hate the phrase "I left the church" because that implies a lot of vitriol that I simply don't feel.
I don't want to feel like I turn up or down the volume of myself depending on what group of people I'm with. I want to be a nice steady volume that's not too loud and not so quiet you need subtitles, unless you're watching The Great British Baking Show and have a hard time understanding some of the contestants through their accents. I want to be my authentic self without shame or embarrassment. And I want to hopefully help those around me feel like they don't need to be ashamed of me either. So let's break down what I believe, maybe some things you'll find aren't so different from your own beliefs, or maybe they will be starkly different and you can take comfort in knowing I will never shame you for your beliefs.
I believe in surrounding yourself with people who are wholly, completely, and even intimidatingly different than you are.
I believe in dressing myself appropriately for weather. In the heat of summer when I'm chasing my beautiful kids around the playground, I believe in wearing loose fitting tank tops, short, sweat wicking shorts, and running shoes so that we can stay and play the day away.
I believe in not being afraid to say you're sorry and that you messed up.
I believe in constant learning and expanding your world view. I believe in reading as many books you can get your hands on, for pleasure, and for stepping in the shoes of someone else. I believe in reading books that go beyond your comfort zone.
I believe in swearing when I'm mad, dammit.
I believe in being the biggest feminist this world has ever seen.
I believe that Donald Trump is the complete opposite of that.
I believe that service is the most worthwhile thing on earth that you can do.
I believe in recycling, driving hybrid cars, and never using disposable products.
Except diapers.
I believe that there should be more gun regulations.
I believe in taking care of my body the absolute best I can. I believe in exercising regularly, eating healthily, not smoking, not drinking alcohol, not drinking too much caffeine, not eating too many hot dogs...
But I also believe that my body is my own, it is my vehicle to accomplish my goals and it is not an ornament for anyone else's visual pleasure. I don't have to meet any standards that other people have decided on. My body is for me and whoever I decide to share it with.
I believe that there is nothing inherently wrong with homosexuality or transgenderism. I believe everyone deserves to be loved and to give love and to have a family in the way that they feel loved in.
I believe we can do more to champion women and to encourage them to pursue careers that are not just fail safes in case their spouse dies. I believe women should be allowed to selfishly think about their own personal dreams.
I believe in not being in a rush to get married and have children. I believe there is value in finding and nurturing yourself.
I believe not every woman can be happy and fulfilled being a stay at home mother. I believe there is no shame in that.
I believe in nature.
I believe that we can be Godlike in the way we take care of each other.
I believe there are more good people in the world than there are bad.
I believe in being a sarcastic smart ass.
I believe in being open and vulnerable about your short comings and struggles instead of trying to one up everyone around you.
I believe in being real.
