A New Years Eve Rant

Disclaimer: this post contains too much of my personal opinions and not enough stories about Cooper's boogers.

New Years Eve is my least favorite holiday. I hate staying up late and I looove to sleep. I usually don't think too much about New Years (or really anything besides the different colors and consistencies of baby poop and what they might indicate) but this year I find myself ponderous even! Ever since I was given responsibility of Cooper (I don't know who let that one slip through the cracks) I have been trying to become a better person, since you know, Cooper may actually turn out to be semi like me one day. This involves some personal reflection of my own attitude and a lot of listening to others who have better attitudes (that includes most everyone else.)

Anyway let's introduce philosophical Paige shall we. I've heard a lot of talk tonight analyzing this past year, whether it was good or whether it was bad, and I wonder how we evaluate our lives? Is it the number of trials we go through? The number of "advances" we make? I believe, though much easier said than done, that our attitude, our outlook, our treatment of others should remain the same whether our lives are on an upswing or a downswing. I don't even think I should call them upswings or downswings, they are mere events that happen to us in our lives and it is up to us how we react to them, how we let them teach us and shape us. It's like the zen master story that someone brings up in Sunday School every single week, that somehow still stays with me despite it's obnoxious over-quoting-

a Zen master who observes the people of his village celebrating a young boy's new horse as a wonderful gift. "We'll see," the Zen master says. When the boy falls off the horse and breaks a leg, everyone says the horse is a curse. "We'll see," says the master. Then war breaks out, the boy cannot be conscripted because of his injury, and everyone now says the horse was a fortunate gift. "We'll see," the master says again.

In short, "It is our reaction to adversity, not the adversity itself that determines how our life story will develop." -Dieter F. Uchtdorf

I see 2012 as neither good nor bad. In it I see things I learned, I see people who helped me and people who I helped, I see ways in which I can be better next year. Oh so many, many ways! And I hope that 2013 brings me closer to becoming the sort of person that stays consistent in all things no matter what the year brings.

End Rant.

On a more exciting note I have of course many fun Coop stories to share. 

I've been trying to suction his boogers with a nasal suction and Cooper has now wised up. When he sees me coming with it he buries his face in the carpet so I can't reach his nostrils. Then he lifts his head a little and peeks to see if I'm still holding it, and refuses to turn around until I put it down. Smart boy.

The other day I was watching 24 with Cooper on my lap (I know what you're thinking... that was so ten years ago and Kiefer Sutherland is a dream boat and also you're so skinny. I know, sooo true, and thank you!) Cooper was playing with toys and wasn't watching the tv and then all the sudden he drops his rattle and stares wide eyed and open mounted at the tv so I look to see what has him so mesmerized- it was the black actor who plays President Palmer. I thought for a second and then realized this was the first not-white person he's ever seen! He looked very puzzled and would not take his eyes off the screen.

Still fat, still bald, and not racist. Don't worry.

Happy New Year

My Birthday

Is it sad that spending 3 hours alone with my husband has become so rare and precious that I blog about it now? Probably! But that is life once you have a mini-dictator, it becomes hard to escape the regime. ;) If you are reading this (you aren't, I don't even think my own husband reads my blog) and you don't have small kids, please go out and do something fun tonight and stay out late and savor it! Not that dancing around like an idiot to children's songs trying to make your ball of chub laugh isn't an awesome way to spend your weekend nights! I just wish I would have enjoyed myself a little more when I had the opportunity... Food for thought.

Anyway, Sunday is my birthday (you still have time to get my presents ready!) and Cooper has been sick all week with bronchiolitis. He has a nasty cough, a boogery nose, and has been WHEEZING non stop. It is official, hearing Cooper wheeze is the saddest most heart breaking noise there ever could be. We took him to the doctor (of course I did, I take him about every week) and the doctor did her thing and then asked if we had a family history of asthma!! So from now until the day I die I will be worried and stressed about what if Cooper has asthma. Thanks lady. I have been sick too (which I typically wouldn't have cared about) but being sick while you have a sick baby to take care of and wake up every 2-3 hours like a newborn with SUCKS. Side note: Cooper, please go back to sleeping like a good boy once you feel better, please don't make a habit of having mom come pat your tummy every 3 hours. I will give you absolutely anything you want.

One funny thing to come out of this sickness is that Cooper loves B sounds, and laughs his head off when you call him a boogery boy. Also he loves to be squirted in the face by puffs of air from his nasal syringe. He closes his eyes and smiles and then laughs as soon as you're done. He does not however enjoy the actual usage of the nasal syringe. Poor buddy.

Anyway why I'm describing my awful week is that I felt sure I was going to spend my birthday in the same fashion. The sick taking care of the sick. And the one thing I wanted for my birthday was time alone with Josh. Once again, please go do something fun with your sweetheart tonight. But thanks to my wonderful husband and amazing brother and sister in law- I got what I wanted!!!

And so my true pathetic-ness begins as I blog about a regular date night. Ha. We went to dinner at Red Rock Brewing Company. How I love going out to eat without someone who is either crying or giving me a dirty look that says hey lady if I'm not home with my toys in 12 seconds you will suffer my wrath. During dinner I made Josh give me 25 compliments, which actually turned out to be heart felt and lovely with minimal sarcasm. I did tack on an extra compliment for every sarcastic one he made. So I think he ended up giving me 30. I wish everyone thought as highly as me as Josh does! My sweet guy, made me feel like a princess. Then we went to Crate and Barrell to pick out a birthday gift and as an extra treat I made Josh stay right by my side as I looked at everything in the store. It looked like a physical struggle but he managed it. And the only mean comment I got was that I needed another mug like I need a hole in the head. Which is true. I don't even drink out of mugs, I just love them. So I got a yellow and white striped rug for our entry way! Yay! And then Josh surprised me and took me ice skating. We've never been before so I told Josh as we walked in that I had been ice skating all my life and I was really good and could do tricks and stuff. Funny joke, I can't even stand up on ice skates and spent the whole time hugging the wall. I don't think Josh will be taking me again. Maybe his nephew Cole can give me lessons.

So ends our 3 hours together. We went and picked up our wee babe who was wearing puppy pajamas and had a runny nose and was laughing at his Uncle. And that was the best birthday present of all.

So monumentous Josh even consented to a picture. By the way I have only 5 more pounds to lose of baby (and barbecue chips) weight! So take that! Also at a family Christmas party last week my aunt told me I looked like the michellan man while pregnant. Ugh, so true.

My birthday rug! I love you rug!

Coop eating a Christmas present because of course I have to post a picture of Coop! Still bald, in case you were wondering...

Also, if you want to start a babysitter's club, let me know. I am clearly in need of more date nights. I'll call Kristina and Claudia and Stacy and Mary and Dawn and whoever else was in the babysitters club! My favorite was Claudia, because obviously I identified with a Japanese person who was really good at art. ??

Cooper's First Christmas

Cooper was SICK on Christmas. So sad. He has a cough and now that he's figured out how to cough, he fake coughs too just for fun. So all he coughs all day long. Some of them are real and some of them are obviously fake. What a stinker. Other than his little cough, Cooper did great. It was a long day, with shorter naps, somewhere other than home, 20 people, and constant stimuli and he didn't have any meltdowns. Sometimes I would take him in the other room and we would sit in the dark together and mellow out a little. He would sit and smile at me from behind his binkie (those are my favorite smiles.) He got a lot of gifts and was the main attraction of the day. Although he liked to suck on the wrapping paper more than anything, I know he will love his new toys once he gets the chance to play with them. He is getting over that little stranger anxiety he had for a while (though he will still only laugh for mom or dad.)

I was so looking forward to Cooper's first Christmas and it turned out to be less of skipping through meadows while singing and more of tired, stressed, constantly looking for one of the five binkies I brought with me, and changing his outfit he pooped on for the 4th time that day. Oh holidays with kids! But we did manage to get a few cute pictures where he looks way more excited than he actually was, but down the road we'll forget he wasn't really into it and we'll look at these pictures and commend ourselves for being such excellent Santa's. And thank you to all the other Santa's who helped make Cooper's first Christmas such a special one!

I love my fat boy.

Four Months

Cooper's four month stats:

15 lbs 2 oz (75th percentile- which is weird since I thought he was morbidly obese)

25 inches (50th percentile)

Essentially he is his mama's baby, short and fat. :)

Cooper is just getting big, plain and simple. He is starting to look less like a baby to me and more like an actual person. He is growing more aware of his teeny tiny world and his personality is starting to make itself known little by little.

Apparently Cooper is a home body. We can have him at home when he is happy and laughing and smiling and shrieking with joy, take him to the store the next minute where he glares at you the whole time, get him back home and he immediately smiles as soon as we bring him inside. And this happens every single time. He doesn't even like to look around when we go places! We put him in the cart and he never takes his eyes off me and he just looks so mad the whole time. No smiles, no laughing, nothing. Sometimes I feel guilty taking him to run errands because I know he'd rather be at home. I think it would be boring to look at the same old stuff all day long, but not to Coop I guess! I've started to plan my errands for during his nap, which is probably the opposite of what most people do, but Cooper sleeps through everything while we're out, people banging into our cart, me transferring his car seat from the car to the store to the cart back to the car... Apparently two hours in Costco makes for an excellent nap.

Cooper loves to have mommy and daddy dance for him. He laughs and laughs and laughs his chubby head off. If someone walked into our house at any given time they would probably see Cooper sitting on the couch and Josh and I doing a dance for him. We know who runs the show around here...

Cooper definitely prefers some toys to others. He even seems to have a favorite blanket. Interestingly it is not one of the many, many, many nice blankets given to him by loving friends and family, it is the one I took home from a used clothing exchange at church. It is ugly and ratty and whenever I show it to Coop he buries his face in it and then sits and licks it all day long. 

This Christmas time has been my favorite since we've been married. It is so fun to have a little one to spoil at Christmas. Today I signed my first ever gift "From Santa." It was awesome. Last Christmas eve we found out little Coop was on his way and one year later we're wrapping up teething rings and baby spoons. It's pretty great and I cannot for the life of me figure out how I got to be so lucky!! I am definitely feeling very blessed this Christmas to have my little happy family. Cooper brings us so much joy. We spend all of our nights surrounding Cooper laughing at all of the cute things he does. 

I love my little man!!

Coop's New Tricks

My little tricksy minx is getting more and more fun each day! I love watching him grow and develop new skills. So like the crazy person that I've become, let me share each and every mundane thing my child does (which to me is as exciting and noteworthy as tooting unicorns.)

Cooper has become quite the giggle monster! Before his laughs were a little indistinguishable from his other happy noises but now they are just like adult laughs. One night he started laughing in his sleep. And now he starts laughing whenever we kiss or tickle him. Hilarious. It is absolutely my most favorite sound. He laughs especially hard when his daddy teases him, which is good because I'm sure there will be a lot of that in the future.

He is so good at grabbing things now! His favorite things to grab are the neckline of my shirt to pull down and flash everyone (usually during church) and he loves to grab blankies and never let go and shove them in his mouth. We had a used clothing exchange at church and I brought him home a super ugly, ratty lamb toy/blankie (but it was soft so I thought he might like it) and he loves loves to shove every inch of it into his mouth.

(The first time he grabbed and held something)

He is really wanting to roll over back to stomach. Every time I lay him down he grunts and strains and tries every way he can to be on the move. Soon little buddy! Most of the time I end up picking him up because he gets too upset!

He has BAD stranger anxiety! Which I thought idn't start until they're around 8 months old! But if someone he doesn't know tries to look at him or gets too close he goes from happy to screaming at the drop of a hat, and then as soon as I pick him up he's fine. I'm kind of apprehensive about Christmas and also feel bad for people that want to hold him and can't because he only wants mom or dad.

And as usual he's super fat and super bald. Rock that look while you can baby.

In other news, I decided to make my own Christmas ornaments with Cooper's hand print and foot print, thinking I was so cute and special and basically Martha Stewart right???  Huge failure. Haha. They look like Cooper made them himself.

Wah wah

Family Pictures

These pictures were taken by my wonderful and talented friend Debra who owns Joyous Moments Photography. We met Debra and her cute family down in South Texas and luckily for us they moved back to Utah shortly after we did. I thought she was going to die when I told her I didn't have any pictures of us since our wedding! Ha! Also her little girl is the funniest little girl of all time. She used to call me "Paige" and Josh "other one." Enjoy some pictures of our abusive behavior towards Cooper (it was freezing outside, poor little guy)

The birth story of one Mr. Cooper Joshua Beach

I started writing Cooper's birth story right after it happened, I got about halfway through and then thought you know, I don't really want to relive this! But now that time has healed my post traumatic stress feelings about it, I thought I would like to finish it so I could always remember how little Cooper came into the world (it's also a good idea if I ever lose my mind and think I might want to repeat this process, all I need to do is read this story and it will reclaim my sanity.)

Warning: read at your own risk. Childbirth is not a pretty business. Also it's super long, so you've been warned.

So week 40 rolls around, still pregnant, of course though about 17 other people I knew had their babies already who were due after me. That week my blood pressure was really high and my Doctor put me on bed rest and ordered a couple non stress tests for Cooper. I've been a basket case about his health ever since. So my due date rolls around, still no baby and slightly high blood pressure so I get the go ahead to be induced. I walked joyfully past the reception desk to leave without making any more follow up appointments. Happy as a clam.

My due date was Saturday, I wasn't supposed to eat or drink anything from 10 am onwards and go to the hospital at 5 pm to be injected overnight with a cervix ripener before the actual induction could take place. Which is a fancy way of saying that it added an extra day of pain, hospital stay, and starvation onto my labor. Lovely. My contractions started at 2 am and started out every 2-3 minutes apart thanks to the medication I was on. I couldn't have anything for the pain yet so I pretty much cried from 2 am to 8 am when they gave me an epidural. They started me on pitocin at 7 am and were kind enough to offer an epidural by 8, probably because I was screaming in the delivery room (at which point Josh got up to close the door and I bit his head off because I thought maybe the screams would prompt them to hurry.) The epidural worked for a while (ahem, we'll get to THAT business later), but I was sporting a giant oxygen mask that kept falling off my face because Cooper was in distress, and they kept rolling me over every 20 minutes so I still was far from comfortable. Few more hours of that and then the real fun began... My epidural wore off and no one would believe me! I kid you not, I felt like a pioneer squatting over a ditch (see disclaimer above, if you kept reading it was your own fault.) Not to mention that Cooper was faced the wrong way so I was in the worst possible labor I could be in and I felt every contraction for the last hour of labor and for two hours of pushing. Utter and complete misery. By the way can I add that I was under the impression that I would be getting a 60 second break from contractions if they're coming every minute, well I forgot that the contraction itself lasts most of that minute, so they're pretty much non-stop.

On to the pushing. I was in so much pain that I literally could not pick one nurse or doctor that was there out of a prison line-up (as evidenced by the nurse that waved at me in the hallway later and was evidently in my surgery later though I had no idea) but I will never forget my nurse while I pushed. I hope she has the flu right now. Sometimes when I'm upset I envision me punching that lady in the face. Anyway... my doctor had told me while I was pregnant and he was performing oh so lovely exams that my pelvis was very likely too narrow to be squeezing anyone's melon head through, but they wouldn't know for sure until I had gone through all the joys of labor first. So I pushed and I pushed, without my toxic western medication that I so desperately wanted, all the time thinking this doctor is right, this baby's melon head isn't going anywhere. To top it off I still had a giant oxygen mask that I was sure I was going to vomit in and drown in my own sick, to which my lovely nurse said you'll just have to reach up and take it off if you're going to be sick. Right, I have enough coordination for that right now. Finally after TWO hours the doctor decided to check in on my misery and sat and thought and then thought some more and after about a hundred more contractions of him just sitting there, finally asked me if I wanted a c-section or I could keep pushing when nothing might happen, and if it finally did happen, he would be going up there with big giant metal forceps... Hmmm, let me think. It took me one second to choose c-section please. We knew that Cooper was in distress and wasn't enjoying this long exiting process anymore than I was so I wanted him out quick for his sake too. Although by this time I was in so much pain I couldn't talk so I nodded and nodded and desperately tried to communicate that yes please, end my pain and get me a freaking sandwich.

On to the c-section. Who would think it would take like 30 minutes to prepare for an emergency surgery? Geez. That's about 30 more contractions while I tried to convince the anethesiologist (who I now hated more than my nurse) that please don't cut me open right now I can literally feel everything. And then the (male) anethesiologist had the audacity to ask me "why can't you talk right now?" Oh I'm so sorry that this contraction is interrupting our conversation, let me just holler up my lady parts to my son and tell him to please hold on. Had I been capable of movement, I would have punched him in the face as well and then had my baby in prison for assaulting the medical staff. He finally agreed to give me another shot (some kind of spinal tap? I don't know) and as soon as that sucker kicked in, all was well. I was bawling when I got it and the poor nurse that was holding me up thought I was crying because I was scared of the shot and she kept telling me comforting things about it, um no lady, I'm crying about this man eating contraction right now. Anyway they got me all strapped down and let Josh come in though I didn't know he was there and was really wondering who was stroking my head the whole time. I felt the doctors wash off my stomach and get me ready which would have really freaked me out but my mom had told me before that you can feel all that stuff but you still won't feel the surgery. Phew. Literally like one minute later they pulled Cooper out and I sat there and waited to hear him cry for what felt like 10 minutes. Poor Coop had swallowed his meconium and they had to suction out his lungs and take him to the NICU. The nurse gave me a one second look at my precious guy and then whisked him away for 6 hours! I remember thinking "hey that baby has my giant nose, sorry about that baby" and then he was gone. Josh said afterwards it was a good thing I was strapped to an operating table and couldn't see them aggressively suctioning his lungs out or I would have lost it. So I got stitched back up (which took about thirty times longer than the actual surgery) and listened worriedly to the doctors gossiping about another doctor. Why do they have to have casual personal conversation while they're performing surgery on you? I wanted to yell hello, let's concentrate please!

On to the aftermath. So I got wheeled to my room (about an eighth of the size of the delivery room) and all I could think about was the King's Feast that I so obviously deserved! (It had now been almost two days since I'd eaten anything, despite trying to coerce Josh to sneak me some food.) No. Such. Luck. I still had to wait another six hours until I could eat. The nurse nicely told me she would just wake me up for breakfast and I told her, not so nicely, that I would be awake in my bed watching the clock until the very second that I could eat something. Furthermore I hadn't even held my baby yet so I was not going to sleep for anything. The NICU kept saying they'd have Cooper for one more hour and every time I sent Josh to go get him he'd come back empty handed. One time I told him as he went to check that he better not come back if he didn't have a baby with him. Fiiiinally about six hours later I got to hold my precious baby, and almost equally exciting, the nurse brought me a disgusting ham sandwich and told me to just eat half of it and slowly. Whatever lady, I snarfed that whole thing and ate a bag of chips. Best meal of my life.

The rest of the hospital stay was pretty uneventful. Cooper slept essentially the whole time we were there. I literally didn't even see his eyes until we went home. I re-learned basic human skills like how to walk and how to pee again. We got lots of visitors, family, friends, and hospital staff, which means a good percentage of the state's population saw me naked at some point during that week. Lots of privacy in hospitals... Good food too... Oh wait...

Anyway now that I've complained for ten pages... as I sit here and listen to this little boy blow spit bubbles with his lips, I would go through that every day for him if I had to. He is the most precious gift I've ever been given and I'm so lucky to have had both of us come out of that experience healthily. I love him more than I ever thought it was possible to love someone. Now if one could just order babies off of Amazon and get them shipped in the mail... I think I'll send that in to Heaven's suggestion box.

Three Months

This post is coming to you one day before Coopy's three month birthday! I think this is a sign that my life is getting slightly more manageable. Hooray!

Some new things for Cooper this past month:

My little boy genius rolled over! Three times in a row! But he hasn't done it since so maybe he's not such a child prodigy after all. :) I did get so excited that I started sobbing! Further confirmation that motherhood has turned me into a crazy person.

I think (though this could be the crazy motherhood talking) that Cooper is starting to prefer me to people he doesn't know as well. On the plus side this makes me feel wonderful, on the down side there were a couple meltdowns on Thanksgiving.

Whenever Cooper is awake, he is jibber jabbering away. I kind of suspect that we'll never be able to get this kid to be quiet once he's older and I'm really excited to hear all of the crazy stuff that comes out of his mouth. For now it is mostly oo's and ah's, lots of long high-pitched squeals, and laughs. Hilarious. If we ever want to watch a movie or something we have to turn the subtitles on because we can't hear the show over Cooper. He is LOUD.

He is getting slightly better at riding in the car! I may even be so bold as to take him somewhere by myself by choice one of these days. (He doesn't like being left alone in the back seat) But I finally figured out how to jimmy rig some toys onto his giant fat car seat handle and that helps enormously!

This isn't new this month but I don't think I've mentioned it before. Pretty much Cooper's favorite thing to do (besides eat) is to hold his fist in front of his face and stare at it. He loves to stare at his fist. It is the weirdest thing, sometimes he even prefers his fist to toys. Crazy little guy.

Cooper is about 14 pounds and sleeps 10-12 hours a night.
He is the cutest little boy ever!
Love love love you!

Shanksgiving

Josh and I always say "shanks" to each other instead of thanks. We have lots of made up words for stuff, heaven help us if one of us dies and the other one tries to get re-married.... Anyway! Everyone did cute I am thankful posts for every day in November. I did no such thing. Am I the only one who's baby sucks their free time like a vacuum? I guess so. So here are a few things I'm thankful for (even though Thanksgiving is over):

My babe! Of course he is numero uno. I am grateful that I get to be this little guy's mama, I am grateful he is healthy, I am grateful that most of the time I am covered in one of his bodily fluids. I never knew I could love anyone as much as I do this precious babe.

My other babe! Josher is my other half. He is my best friend, my partner, the perfect dad to our son, and so much more. Josh and I make such a great team that I'm probably going to try out for Amazing Race, we would totally win. Seriously. I am convinced that we are secretly identical twins, we always say the same things at the same time in the same weird tone of voice. We have SO much fun together, even if we're just grocery shopping, everything is a hoot with Josh.

My family! ESPECIALLY since I had Cooper. Everyone has helped me so much while I adjust to
life with a newborn. Hallelujah. I don't know what I would have done without them. My mom even came over to take night feedings with Cooper whenever she could so I could have a full nights sleep. Now if that isn't the best baby gift someone could give I don't know what is! I love my hilarious family.

The Beach's. 

My side of the family is anti-having-their-picture-taken. Do I blame them? No! Having your picture taken sucks. But here are my cute cousins.

My friends. I have had the same group of girlfriends since elementary school! These girls have given me some great laughs throughout the years! And even when we are all busy with our own lives, we can always pick up right where we left off.

And... Many more things but my bundle is up from his silly cat nap that he's so fond of taking.