First of all, I've gotten a lot of views on my post where I posted those pregnancy texts. I was leafing around blogger and found out you can see where people have accessed your page from and guess what! People are googling I peed my pants blog. Great. Thanks a lot Cooper! (Everything is his fault)
I wanted to write down some of my thoughts on being a stay at home mom. This week we had a bit of a financial hiccup and I sort of had to make the decision all over again about whether I wanted to continue staying at home. Before I say anything I just want to add that there are a lot of ways that women choose to balance work and family based on their own individual needs- my situation may be different than another woman's situation and therefore my choice is different. I don't mommy judge anyone, nor do I think there is one right way to raise your family. But here are my personal experiences-
When I was 19 I worked full time and went to school full time, I only had time to eat one meal a day, I usually got home from work around 11 pm, then had to study, then had to be up at 7 am for class. I thought I had the most exhausting life... Then my aunt and uncle went out of town and I spent a week with 3 kids ages 3, 4, and 5. Making meals, getting people ready for school, bed time, bath time, and every meal a blood bath over who got to drink out of the hello kitty cup. Every morning after school drop off I drove to 711 to get myself an industrial size Red Bull and cry quietly in the parking lot. My dumb 19 year old self had NO idea what true exhaustion was.
So my days haven't quite culminated in that yet! No toddlers and just the one kid is much more manageable but like that week, these last five months have been the most exhausting of my life. I was originally planning on returning to work part time, and I did- for a grand total of three days. I was working from home, waving a toy at Cooper's face with one hand while trying to type with the other hand and I glanced over at him and realized he had just smiled for the very first time and I missed it. I quit on the spot. In three seconds I made a major life decision (which weirdly is how I make all of my major decisions, I really need to start some pro's and con's lists or something...)
To me working was easy, I had one job and I was good at that one thing, it gave me validation to accomplish tangible things. Now as a stay at home mom I feel like there are a million jobs I have to be good at. And sadly I really suck at a lot of them. For some reason I feel like the actual motherhood part of it is very small and that I need to be a professional seamstress, an interior designer, a gourmet chef, an amazing crafter! Suddenly there are a lot more things to fail at, and a vast amount of people that are just really a lot better at those things than I am. Most days I go to sleep feeling like I failed at everything. And when I don't fail, there's no positive affirmation, no tangible things to show for my day, my to-do list is usually longer than the one I started the morning with...
A few days ago we recieved some new information about our hospital bills that would make our tight budget even tighter. For a few days I toyed around with the idea of working part time, I looked around, I set up an interview and then I really gave my situation a second thought. Being a mom is exhausting, it is a job that never ends, and most of the time it makes me feel super inadequate. But it also makes me see the bigger picture. It makes me see that if we can cover our expenses with me staying at home, it doesn't matter if I can't buy a bunch of fun things for myself. Spending time with Cooper doesn't even register on the same playing field as cute dishes. I don't need to spend my weekends going out to eat, shopping, and seeing movies anymore, they're all experiences Cooper renders absolutely miserable anyway. I don't need to go on vacations where I sit on an exotic beach somewhere with my husband, I can go on a road trip for Cooper to see his grandparents. (Which we are doing in March by the way and I could not be more nervous to spend 40 hours in a car with someone who hates being in his car seat and loves to throw hissy fits.)
So this week has taught me to be grateful for my budget, to be grateful I had to say no to going and getting a pedicure because that means that every morning I get to wake up to a little man who usually has all four appendages stuck in his crib bars and needs someone to help get him out. It means I get to spend all day playing and tickling and reading stories and singing songs. It means I am there to see the first time Cooper realizes he has feet. It means I have time to really get to know my boy and be the only person that knows things like Cooper's thighs are really tickelish and that he loves to stare at the microwave. And if I have to paint my own toenails to do all that then it's actually a really easy choice to make.
(Sometimes when I'm overwhelmed a good mommy quote calms me down)
"Motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling. You do not collect children because you find them cuter than stamps. It is not something to do if you can squeeze the time in. It is what God gave you time for.” -Neil L. Andersen
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Monday, January 28, 2013
Crazy Pants
I blog too much. I think it's because most of my daily conversations are a little one sided... Though we are teaching Cooper the sign language for "milk" and "all done", so once he learns those I'm sure we will have many riveting conversations. Also sometimes I feel like I am entitled to a little me-time during naps after I've spent the morning having green beans spit at me. So there.
Anyway in my attempt to be less crazy about Cooper I have decided to pinpoint some of the crazy things I think and do in order to not think and do them anymore. Novel idea. And in the process I felt I might as well share my craziness for the sake of other's entertainment because let's be honest, it's much more fun to be friends with someone who admits their faults rather than someone who is always bragging about how perfect their life is and oh my gosh I just had a spare 20 minutes and I sewed my own play clothes out of the curtains. Right? Or is that just me?
So... the ways in which motherhood has turned me crazy:
First and probably craziest, increased paranoia. Need I say more than I called the police on my neighbor who borrowed some eggs to make peanut butter cookies? Old Paige probably would have been a little unnerved and then gone about her day. New Paige grabs a steak knife, locks all the doors, and calls the police. I probably have a nightmare about once a week that we get robbed (because who wouldn't want to rob my classy condo?) and then I have to fight off the robbers to protect Cooper. And I get so freaked out about these nightmares that I usually can't fall back asleep afterwards and end up waking Josh up too to talk about those mean robbers who tried to also kidnap Cooper!
Second and probably the most prohibiting of me becoming a normal person again... my incessant research of all things baby. Not just casual reading up on which crib is best but crazy stuff like nitrate levels in carrots and spinach, flame retardant chemicals that can cause cancer, links between asthma and eczema, levels of lead in tap water... Literally if there has been something written about it, I have read it. And even worse, I read about stuff that I don't have to worry about for years like different philosophies about disciplining your toddler! And all of this reading makes me want to do crazy things like have the lead levels in our water tested even though we don't have lead pipes, and write to the California legislature to urge them to stop requiring flame retardant chemicals- who cares if your whole state is pretty much always on fire, my baby gets his diaper changed on something that could possibly be carcinogenic! And then I e-mail Josh danish studies about the timing of introduction of solid foods and the affect it has on children with eczema.
Side note: Danish studies are awesome. Because researchers have access to the population's full medical records which enables them to form conclusions based on the whole population rather than just a sampling in a study. And also they found that introducing solid foods at 4 months or at 6 months caused no increase of food allergies in babies with eczema. And also, maybe I should just give my kid some rice cereal and stop being such a crazy pants.
Third, hypochondria. Oh my word. I basically want to rush Cooper to the emergency room every time he coughs. I'm convinced Cooper has a lazy eye and I had the pediatrician write me a referral to an opthamologist (though I haven't taken him yet because the 1% of rational brain function I have has prevented me.) One night we built a fire and then Josh closed the floo a little too soon and our carbon monoxide detector went off, Josh just opened the floo and opened some windows for some air circulation and went back to bed like a normal person. But I wanted to wake Cooper up, take him outside in the freezing cold, and then call the fire department to have them come check the carbon monoxide levels in our house... I am pretty much always on WebMD and always diagnosing Cooper with a horrible disease.
Fourth, increased road rage. Whenever someone tailgates me now or drives aggressively, whether Cooper is in the car or not, I get absolutely livid. Heaven help the poor soul that accidentally crashes into me one day while Cooper's in the car, I will literally kill them with my bare hands. I even have a baby on board sign.
Fifth, obssesive praise. One of my friends read somewhere that to promote later potty training you should act excited when your baby poops and refrain from acting grossed out. Um.... I already do that. I am so weirdly proud of absolutely every miniscule bodily function that Cooper performs. Every single time I change Cooper's diaper I tell him what an amazing pooper he is and how he should give lessons to all the other babies on how to poop and then just praise his poop for the next ten minutes. I do the same thing whenever he pees, pukes, burps, sneezes, or pretty much anything. This kid is going to be in for a shock when he goes to school and sneezes and no one says "Oh my goodness that was the best sneeze I've ever heard anybody do. You are so smart and wonderful!"
Sixth, irrational anger at normal people. Sometimes when some sweet old lady comes up to me and harmlessly says, "what a cute baby! oh but my grandkids are cuter!" I want to sock that old lady in the mouth. And sometimes when Cooper is looking at someone at church and they don't even smile at him, I want to sock them in the mouth too. And sometimes when we go to a store and no one tells me what a cute baby I have, I want to punch everybody in that store. I have a serious, serious problem where I think that Cooper should be number one in everybody's lives. (Well, people with kids can have their own kids be number one but Cooper should at least be a close second.) I think that everyone should shower him with gifts and praise and love and attention all the time. Josh tries to get me to understand that not everyone is going to think Cooper is as great as we do but I haven't quite gotten it yet and it has definitely made me really mad at some poor, innocent people.
Yikes. I am hoping that all of these crazy tendencies start to simmer down as I get more used to my new role as a mother, but it has been five months and I don't really feel like I've mellowed out yet. So I will be actively working towards becoming someone who doesn't erupt in a fit of glowing praise every time their baby fills their diaper.
But who wouldn't be crazy about this kid?
Anyway in my attempt to be less crazy about Cooper I have decided to pinpoint some of the crazy things I think and do in order to not think and do them anymore. Novel idea. And in the process I felt I might as well share my craziness for the sake of other's entertainment because let's be honest, it's much more fun to be friends with someone who admits their faults rather than someone who is always bragging about how perfect their life is and oh my gosh I just had a spare 20 minutes and I sewed my own play clothes out of the curtains. Right? Or is that just me?
So... the ways in which motherhood has turned me crazy:
First and probably craziest, increased paranoia. Need I say more than I called the police on my neighbor who borrowed some eggs to make peanut butter cookies? Old Paige probably would have been a little unnerved and then gone about her day. New Paige grabs a steak knife, locks all the doors, and calls the police. I probably have a nightmare about once a week that we get robbed (because who wouldn't want to rob my classy condo?) and then I have to fight off the robbers to protect Cooper. And I get so freaked out about these nightmares that I usually can't fall back asleep afterwards and end up waking Josh up too to talk about those mean robbers who tried to also kidnap Cooper!
Second and probably the most prohibiting of me becoming a normal person again... my incessant research of all things baby. Not just casual reading up on which crib is best but crazy stuff like nitrate levels in carrots and spinach, flame retardant chemicals that can cause cancer, links between asthma and eczema, levels of lead in tap water... Literally if there has been something written about it, I have read it. And even worse, I read about stuff that I don't have to worry about for years like different philosophies about disciplining your toddler! And all of this reading makes me want to do crazy things like have the lead levels in our water tested even though we don't have lead pipes, and write to the California legislature to urge them to stop requiring flame retardant chemicals- who cares if your whole state is pretty much always on fire, my baby gets his diaper changed on something that could possibly be carcinogenic! And then I e-mail Josh danish studies about the timing of introduction of solid foods and the affect it has on children with eczema.
Side note: Danish studies are awesome. Because researchers have access to the population's full medical records which enables them to form conclusions based on the whole population rather than just a sampling in a study. And also they found that introducing solid foods at 4 months or at 6 months caused no increase of food allergies in babies with eczema. And also, maybe I should just give my kid some rice cereal and stop being such a crazy pants.
Third, hypochondria. Oh my word. I basically want to rush Cooper to the emergency room every time he coughs. I'm convinced Cooper has a lazy eye and I had the pediatrician write me a referral to an opthamologist (though I haven't taken him yet because the 1% of rational brain function I have has prevented me.) One night we built a fire and then Josh closed the floo a little too soon and our carbon monoxide detector went off, Josh just opened the floo and opened some windows for some air circulation and went back to bed like a normal person. But I wanted to wake Cooper up, take him outside in the freezing cold, and then call the fire department to have them come check the carbon monoxide levels in our house... I am pretty much always on WebMD and always diagnosing Cooper with a horrible disease.
Fourth, increased road rage. Whenever someone tailgates me now or drives aggressively, whether Cooper is in the car or not, I get absolutely livid. Heaven help the poor soul that accidentally crashes into me one day while Cooper's in the car, I will literally kill them with my bare hands. I even have a baby on board sign.
Fifth, obssesive praise. One of my friends read somewhere that to promote later potty training you should act excited when your baby poops and refrain from acting grossed out. Um.... I already do that. I am so weirdly proud of absolutely every miniscule bodily function that Cooper performs. Every single time I change Cooper's diaper I tell him what an amazing pooper he is and how he should give lessons to all the other babies on how to poop and then just praise his poop for the next ten minutes. I do the same thing whenever he pees, pukes, burps, sneezes, or pretty much anything. This kid is going to be in for a shock when he goes to school and sneezes and no one says "Oh my goodness that was the best sneeze I've ever heard anybody do. You are so smart and wonderful!"
Sixth, irrational anger at normal people. Sometimes when some sweet old lady comes up to me and harmlessly says, "what a cute baby! oh but my grandkids are cuter!" I want to sock that old lady in the mouth. And sometimes when Cooper is looking at someone at church and they don't even smile at him, I want to sock them in the mouth too. And sometimes when we go to a store and no one tells me what a cute baby I have, I want to punch everybody in that store. I have a serious, serious problem where I think that Cooper should be number one in everybody's lives. (Well, people with kids can have their own kids be number one but Cooper should at least be a close second.) I think that everyone should shower him with gifts and praise and love and attention all the time. Josh tries to get me to understand that not everyone is going to think Cooper is as great as we do but I haven't quite gotten it yet and it has definitely made me really mad at some poor, innocent people.
But who wouldn't be crazy about this kid?
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Pregnancy Texts
So today Cooper was taking an abnormally long time to put down for a nap and I found myself reading old text messages I sent to Josh while I was pregnant. I think when you're pregnant you are kind of living in this alternate universe where you think that you're rational and normal when in fact you are quite the opposite. But no one tells you that because they don't want to make you cry even more. Anyway thought I'd share some of these precious gems, which in hindsight are all super ridiculous and I don't know how Josh put up with it for 9 months! Enjoy...
Me: So my baby shower is postponed because my grandma's aunt died and that's when her funeral is and now I bet no one can come. Everyone gets parties but me!
Josh: Paige, people can't help when they die.
Me: Stupid Aunt Sue. I just want to open presents all day long!
Me: One of my co-workers just started eating some weird meat that's been in the fridge for two months and it just made me sick. And she eats louder and more aggressively than anyone I've ever seen, man or beast.
Me: One of my co-workers is eating a muffin that looks so good I think I'm going to leap across the table and snatch it out of her hands. Is it weird if I ask her for a bite?
Josh: Yes Paige, that's weird. Stop asking your co-workers for their food.
*Story time: One day one of my co-workers got chocolate covered strawberries delivered to her from her boyfriend. They were from Edible Arrangements, I'm sure they weren't cheap, and there weren't very many of them. Anyway she offered a strawberry to a girl sitting by me (they were close, and we were not) but crazy pregnant Paige turned around and stared at them until the girl said "Oh! Uh... Do you want a strawberry too?" And then crazy pregnant Paige was like yes please, let me gobble down your birthday present!
Me: Josh my co-worker is eating some mystery food that I can't identify and it's making me throw up! I think if I knew what weird food it was I wouldn't be so grossed out. I'm going to try and find out.
Josh: Did you find out what it is yet?
Me: It smells like a spicy shepherd's pie
Josh: Is it?
Me: No, it's fettucini alfredo.
Me: (Picture message of my poop)
Josh: I don't think constipated pregnant ladies should be eating cracklin oat bran
Me: It smells like old tuna fish in here
Josh: Yummm
Me: Old expired tuna fish
Me: Do you think we should teach our baby sign language?
Josh: Why? Are you deaf?
We are teaching Cooper sign language so I won that battle!
Me: Josh I want to hire someone to make me muffins
Josh: How are you going to go about that?
Me: Can I just put an ad on craigslist?
Pregnant white female seeking one muffin maker
Bran muffins preferred
Blueberry muffins forbidden
Me: I think Cooper has fashioned a shiv during his time in confinement and is now using it to jab me in the ribs.
I am going to crawl up my own vaginal canal and put this baby in a straight jacket.
Me: I'm sleepy and I want a cinnamon bear.
And I want a hot dog. I want a hot dog and cinnamon bears.
Me: I smell like a wet washcloth
Me: Oh my gosh Josh I cannot watch this girl like feast on her cranberries. It's like a monkey foraging for fleas on other monkeys.
One day I sneezed and peed my pants at work...
Me: Josh!! I just had to take off my underwear in the bathroom cuz they're soaked! And now I have to work the rest of the day wearing just shorts and no undies!!
Josh: Are you serious?! Go home and change!
Me: No! I only have an hour left and I pretty much pee my pants all the time anyways! I'd have no vacation time left if I went home every time I peed my pants!
Josh: Oh Paige... Do you need me to bring you some underwear?
Paige: Nope I'm fine! Because apparently not wearing underwear at work is really normal
Josh packed me lunch every day and I guess some days I wasn't as grateful as I should have been...
Me: You said you packed me crackers and that was a dirty rotten lie.
Josh: Oh no! I'm so sorry!
Me: No crackers! And no pickles and no cheese! I just want to go home and cry!
Me: 1. I'm going to die if I don't get scrambled eggs. 2. I want a teardrop trailer!
Josh: We can look at trailers, that'd be fun
Me: What about my eggs????????
No answer
Me: !!!!!
Me: Someone is eating chick fil a and I want to body tackle them and take their chick fil a for my own.
Josh: Poor crazy baby.
Me: So I'm watching grey's anatomy and when I die during childbirth you should move in with your parents to help you with the baby and then when you get settled you can find a nice new wife ok? Just keep your hair trimmed and wear clothes that fit and you shouldn't have a problem.
Josh: Please stop watching medical dramas.
Me: I think I'm going to kill someone if I don't get a cookie in the next few minutes.
No answer
Me: Maybe one of my co workers has a cookie hidden in their desk and then I can create a diversion and search their things and eat their cookie?
Josh: Yeah?
Me: I feel like I can sense there is one near by.
No answer
Me: Found some old Easter candy in an old box of holiday decorations! Score!
Josh: Are you seriously hunting your office for candy?!
Me: Well not anymore.
Josh: Enjoy your spoils.
Me: Picture message of a dark spot on our couch
Me: Unfortunately I happened to sneeze while sitting on the couch in my underwear. You can guess the rest.
Me: Did you make a pizza at lunch? Is there any left over?
Josh: Two slices
Me: What kind is it?
Josh: Cheese
Me: Ok I eat it
Me: These are the smallest pieces of pizza I've ever seen!
Josh: Sorry baby
Me: Well I am deciding what to do. I was going to make a pizza but then some girl went to Culver's and I smelled her onion rings and then she gave the rest of her onion rings to this guy that eats a lot and he gets all her extra food and I'm pretty sure I can eat more than he can! So I don't know what to do.
Josh: What?? What are you talking about?? Are you talking about dinner?
Me: Yes dinner. But also that that girl never gives me her extra food.
Me: What'd you eat for lunch?
Me: I drank my diet coke and I've already fallen asleep at work twice.
Josh: Go buy another one at lunch
Me: I don't think that's going to help. I think I need a shot of adrenaline straight to the heart like that dying man on Downton Abbey.
Me: So every day I see this girl's pizza in the fridge and I think man I really want to eat a slice, she might not notice... And then I sit there and look at her pizza for a while. But I think my judgement might be slightly skewed, I should probably not eat her pizza right??
Josh: No pizza
Me: The baby has been scissor kicking my lady parts all day
Me: Everyone else got Rio for lunch and I'm sick of eating my sandwich every day and my feet are cold and I'm super pissed!
Josh: Baby I'm sorry. Let's make larger dinners so you can take them for lunch.
Me: I try to! But we always eat it all! And making dinners makes me really tired and swollen footed and I just want to cry!!
No answer
Me: Josh?
Josh: I'm so sorry baby, I can make dinners. Also what's the plan for tonight?
Me: Well we need to go to the store and get treats.
Me: Every time the baby gets hiccups it feels like my lady parts are in a popcorn popper.
Me: So my baby shower is postponed because my grandma's aunt died and that's when her funeral is and now I bet no one can come. Everyone gets parties but me!
Josh: Paige, people can't help when they die.
Me: Stupid Aunt Sue. I just want to open presents all day long!
Me: One of my co-workers just started eating some weird meat that's been in the fridge for two months and it just made me sick. And she eats louder and more aggressively than anyone I've ever seen, man or beast.
Me: One of my co-workers is eating a muffin that looks so good I think I'm going to leap across the table and snatch it out of her hands. Is it weird if I ask her for a bite?
Josh: Yes Paige, that's weird. Stop asking your co-workers for their food.
*Story time: One day one of my co-workers got chocolate covered strawberries delivered to her from her boyfriend. They were from Edible Arrangements, I'm sure they weren't cheap, and there weren't very many of them. Anyway she offered a strawberry to a girl sitting by me (they were close, and we were not) but crazy pregnant Paige turned around and stared at them until the girl said "Oh! Uh... Do you want a strawberry too?" And then crazy pregnant Paige was like yes please, let me gobble down your birthday present!
Me: Josh my co-worker is eating some mystery food that I can't identify and it's making me throw up! I think if I knew what weird food it was I wouldn't be so grossed out. I'm going to try and find out.
Josh: Did you find out what it is yet?
Me: It smells like a spicy shepherd's pie
Josh: Is it?
Me: No, it's fettucini alfredo.
Me: (Picture message of my poop)
Josh: I don't think constipated pregnant ladies should be eating cracklin oat bran
Me: It smells like old tuna fish in here
Josh: Yummm
Me: Old expired tuna fish
Me: Do you think we should teach our baby sign language?
Josh: Why? Are you deaf?
We are teaching Cooper sign language so I won that battle!
Me: Josh I want to hire someone to make me muffins
Josh: How are you going to go about that?
Me: Can I just put an ad on craigslist?
Pregnant white female seeking one muffin maker
Bran muffins preferred
Blueberry muffins forbidden
Me: I think Cooper has fashioned a shiv during his time in confinement and is now using it to jab me in the ribs.
I am going to crawl up my own vaginal canal and put this baby in a straight jacket.
Me: I'm sleepy and I want a cinnamon bear.
And I want a hot dog. I want a hot dog and cinnamon bears.
Me: I smell like a wet washcloth
Me: Oh my gosh Josh I cannot watch this girl like feast on her cranberries. It's like a monkey foraging for fleas on other monkeys.
One day I sneezed and peed my pants at work...
Me: Josh!! I just had to take off my underwear in the bathroom cuz they're soaked! And now I have to work the rest of the day wearing just shorts and no undies!!
Josh: Are you serious?! Go home and change!
Me: No! I only have an hour left and I pretty much pee my pants all the time anyways! I'd have no vacation time left if I went home every time I peed my pants!
Josh: Oh Paige... Do you need me to bring you some underwear?
Paige: Nope I'm fine! Because apparently not wearing underwear at work is really normal
Josh packed me lunch every day and I guess some days I wasn't as grateful as I should have been...
Me: You said you packed me crackers and that was a dirty rotten lie.
Josh: Oh no! I'm so sorry!
Me: No crackers! And no pickles and no cheese! I just want to go home and cry!
Me: 1. I'm going to die if I don't get scrambled eggs. 2. I want a teardrop trailer!
Josh: We can look at trailers, that'd be fun
Me: What about my eggs????????
No answer
Me: !!!!!
Me: Someone is eating chick fil a and I want to body tackle them and take their chick fil a for my own.
Josh: Poor crazy baby.
Me: So I'm watching grey's anatomy and when I die during childbirth you should move in with your parents to help you with the baby and then when you get settled you can find a nice new wife ok? Just keep your hair trimmed and wear clothes that fit and you shouldn't have a problem.
Josh: Please stop watching medical dramas.
Me: I think I'm going to kill someone if I don't get a cookie in the next few minutes.
No answer
Me: Maybe one of my co workers has a cookie hidden in their desk and then I can create a diversion and search their things and eat their cookie?
Josh: Yeah?
Me: I feel like I can sense there is one near by.
No answer
Me: Found some old Easter candy in an old box of holiday decorations! Score!
Josh: Are you seriously hunting your office for candy?!
Me: Well not anymore.
Josh: Enjoy your spoils.
Me: Picture message of a dark spot on our couch
Me: Unfortunately I happened to sneeze while sitting on the couch in my underwear. You can guess the rest.
Me: Did you make a pizza at lunch? Is there any left over?
Josh: Two slices
Me: What kind is it?
Josh: Cheese
Me: Ok I eat it
Me: These are the smallest pieces of pizza I've ever seen!
Josh: Sorry baby
Me: Well I am deciding what to do. I was going to make a pizza but then some girl went to Culver's and I smelled her onion rings and then she gave the rest of her onion rings to this guy that eats a lot and he gets all her extra food and I'm pretty sure I can eat more than he can! So I don't know what to do.
Josh: What?? What are you talking about?? Are you talking about dinner?
Me: Yes dinner. But also that that girl never gives me her extra food.
Me: What'd you eat for lunch?
Me: I drank my diet coke and I've already fallen asleep at work twice.
Josh: Go buy another one at lunch
Me: I don't think that's going to help. I think I need a shot of adrenaline straight to the heart like that dying man on Downton Abbey.
Me: So every day I see this girl's pizza in the fridge and I think man I really want to eat a slice, she might not notice... And then I sit there and look at her pizza for a while. But I think my judgement might be slightly skewed, I should probably not eat her pizza right??
Josh: No pizza
Me: The baby has been scissor kicking my lady parts all day
Me: Everyone else got Rio for lunch and I'm sick of eating my sandwich every day and my feet are cold and I'm super pissed!
Josh: Baby I'm sorry. Let's make larger dinners so you can take them for lunch.
Me: I try to! But we always eat it all! And making dinners makes me really tired and swollen footed and I just want to cry!!
No answer
Me: Josh?
Josh: I'm so sorry baby, I can make dinners. Also what's the plan for tonight?
Me: Well we need to go to the store and get treats.
Me: Every time the baby gets hiccups it feels like my lady parts are in a popcorn popper.
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Five Months
No way do I have a five month old baby! I used to look at his bigger clothes and think there is no way my baby is ever going to be this big! But somehow it happened and FAST. This kid is going to be running around and throwing sippy cups at my head in no time.
This month: (which was really month 4)
Cooper tried solid foods which were a big hit, though he appears more interested in whatever we're eating instead. Come on table food time! He's tried peas, green beans, bananas, applesauce, rice cereal, blueberries, pears, black beans, and sweet potatoes. We've been making our own baby food and it took a little experimenting at first but it's been fun. I love opening up the freezer and seeing bags of brightly colored cubes. Seriously homemade baby food is really pretty.
I just want to put it in an apothecary jar and stare at it!
Cooper's been struggling with only taking 45 minute naps. Ugh 45 minute naps are the worst!! It even bothered me enough to read a parenting book! That's serious business. I read Baby Wise and then baby wised the crap out of him the next few days. But he just doesn't fall back asleep once he wakes up! He just wiggles around and talks to himself until I go get him. I know he can put himself to sleep, he does it all the time but once I hear his happy squeals it's all over. I gave up, I am not baby wise, I am baby dumb. And then one day out of the blue Cooper just started taking longer naps! He's so smart.
Also in sleep news, he is SO wiggly in his sleep! It amazes me the weird positions this boy wakes up in. Sometimes he wakes himself up rolling over in his crib. Last night he woke himself up twice because he kept moving around! I go in there and he's crying with his eyes closed just rolling around like a crazy person. I finally got tired (read: lazy) and put him in bed in between Josh and I so he couldn't squirm around as much. Then he kept kicking me in the back all night, so I moved to the foot of the bed so I could have more room and then in the middle of the night I kept feeling little fingers grabbing at my big toe! Yikes. I hope that this too is a phase, although I can't help but think things are going to get a whole lot worse when he can stand up...
I am proud to say that I have not taken Cooper to the doctor in the month of January. There are still a few days left but I'm trying to set a new record here! Hopefully he doesn't have a weird colored poop or a hangnail or something serious like that! This literally has been the only month since he's been born that I haven't taken him into the doctor. The nurses there haaate me.
Cooper finally embarrassed me in church. The sweet old lady behind us told me I had such a happy baby and then about ten minutes later I was speed walking through the chapel with a screaming baby right in the middle of the sacrament. Awkward. I think that old lady jinxed us!
Cooper went swimming! He wasn't super into it but he didn't cry at all, even though he got splashed in the face a few times. What a good sport. This was also the first time I've actually felt like a real mom. Something about helping your kid out of a wet swimsuit just signifies motherhood to me. I finally joined the ranks.
This month: (which was really month 4)
Cooper tried solid foods which were a big hit, though he appears more interested in whatever we're eating instead. Come on table food time! He's tried peas, green beans, bananas, applesauce, rice cereal, blueberries, pears, black beans, and sweet potatoes. We've been making our own baby food and it took a little experimenting at first but it's been fun. I love opening up the freezer and seeing bags of brightly colored cubes. Seriously homemade baby food is really pretty.
I just want to put it in an apothecary jar and stare at it!
Cooper's been struggling with only taking 45 minute naps. Ugh 45 minute naps are the worst!! It even bothered me enough to read a parenting book! That's serious business. I read Baby Wise and then baby wised the crap out of him the next few days. But he just doesn't fall back asleep once he wakes up! He just wiggles around and talks to himself until I go get him. I know he can put himself to sleep, he does it all the time but once I hear his happy squeals it's all over. I gave up, I am not baby wise, I am baby dumb. And then one day out of the blue Cooper just started taking longer naps! He's so smart.
Also in sleep news, he is SO wiggly in his sleep! It amazes me the weird positions this boy wakes up in. Sometimes he wakes himself up rolling over in his crib. Last night he woke himself up twice because he kept moving around! I go in there and he's crying with his eyes closed just rolling around like a crazy person. I finally got tired (read: lazy) and put him in bed in between Josh and I so he couldn't squirm around as much. Then he kept kicking me in the back all night, so I moved to the foot of the bed so I could have more room and then in the middle of the night I kept feeling little fingers grabbing at my big toe! Yikes. I hope that this too is a phase, although I can't help but think things are going to get a whole lot worse when he can stand up...
One nap where he rolled onto his tummy. He had his face buried in his sheets and then I said "Cooper" and he lifted his face up and smiled at me. What a turkey.
I am proud to say that I have not taken Cooper to the doctor in the month of January. There are still a few days left but I'm trying to set a new record here! Hopefully he doesn't have a weird colored poop or a hangnail or something serious like that! This literally has been the only month since he's been born that I haven't taken him into the doctor. The nurses there haaate me.
Cooper finally embarrassed me in church. The sweet old lady behind us told me I had such a happy baby and then about ten minutes later I was speed walking through the chapel with a screaming baby right in the middle of the sacrament. Awkward. I think that old lady jinxed us!
Cooper went swimming! He wasn't super into it but he didn't cry at all, even though he got splashed in the face a few times. What a good sport. This was also the first time I've actually felt like a real mom. Something about helping your kid out of a wet swimsuit just signifies motherhood to me. I finally joined the ranks.
That's about it. It hasn't been a super wild month and I am more than fine with that!
Happy five months ya little chunk!
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Hanging With Mr. Cooper
My little Coop Coop's personality is starting to come out more and more. No longer is he a lump of dough that only cries and poops. I am enjoying Cooper increasingly more as time goes on, not that I haven't always loved him, but let's be honest those first few newborn weeks really sucked. I feel like everyone is afraid to say that for fear of the mommy judgment. But I'm not- they totally sucked. Fortunately, things get a lot better and babies become a lot more interesting. So I wanted to write down the things I've learned about my little son so far...
Likes:
Eating. Even when he's not hungry. (he gets that from his mama- we may both need to see a food therapist one day)
Watching other people eat. So hugely exciting.
Looking at food.
Looking at our dining room table or the kitchen because he knows at one time there was food there. Seriously this kid might end up on Maury as a 200 pound toddler.
Watching mom and dad sing and dance. Or the cast of Glee. Apparently Josh and I are just as talented as the people on Glee. I will be expecting my Tony award any day.
Cooper has certain songs he likes more than others. Horsey horsey on your way is definitely number one entertainment song. And rock a bye baby puts him to sleep in two verses every time
Projectile spitting/hurling his binkie across the room. It reminds me of shot-putting. The gold medal definitely goes to Cooper.
Smiling at people who aren't even looking at him. So funny. I watch him break out into this big smile at someone in church and I turn around, assuming they're making a face at him or something, but no, they're not even looking at him!
Crazy alert: sometimes when Cooper is looking at someone and they're still able to pay attention to the lesson I get kind of annoyed! Hello, drop what you're doing and tell me how cute my kid is!.... Wow I'm crazy.
Speaking of Sundays, Cooper also enjoys watching people walk into the chapel, it's basically like watching a parade. Only better. And more exciting.
Blowing spit bubbles.
Talking to his fingers. Well talking to anything really. The tablecloth, his toys, the wall... but mostly to his fingers.
Standing up (with help of course.) He's pretty much over this lying on a blanket business. That stuff is for babies.
Spending bedtime using his legs to propel himself to the other end of the crib to chew on the crib bars.
Bananas.
His daddy. He even likes to sit and watch his daddy watch tv. It's so so funny.
Being tickled and teased.
Being called a "beebee"
Fake coughing
Fighting sleep to the death. He lays there and shakes his head back and forth as fast as he can for the longest time. I don't really know what to say about this- it's kind of bizarre to watch. Must have been all the barbecue chips I ate when I was pregnant. Addled his brain.
Dislikes:
Naps. In fact naps are 1-100 on the dislikes.
Being over tired. Hmm... See a pattern?
Being sick.
Having shots.
Peas
Being alone in a room for longer than a minute.
Trying to roll over.
Going to sleep.
Getting dressed.
Getting out of the bath tub.
Getting his ears cleaned out with q-tips. This kid produce so much ear wax, it's not even funny.
Getting his boogers sucked out.
Mostly I feel like baby Cooper is a happy, chatty, rambunctious, tease.. We will see if I end up being right.
Some pictures of Cooper this month:
Likes:
Eating. Even when he's not hungry. (he gets that from his mama- we may both need to see a food therapist one day)
Watching other people eat. So hugely exciting.
Looking at food.
Looking at our dining room table or the kitchen because he knows at one time there was food there. Seriously this kid might end up on Maury as a 200 pound toddler.
Watching mom and dad sing and dance. Or the cast of Glee. Apparently Josh and I are just as talented as the people on Glee. I will be expecting my Tony award any day.
Cooper has certain songs he likes more than others. Horsey horsey on your way is definitely number one entertainment song. And rock a bye baby puts him to sleep in two verses every time
Projectile spitting/hurling his binkie across the room. It reminds me of shot-putting. The gold medal definitely goes to Cooper.
Smiling at people who aren't even looking at him. So funny. I watch him break out into this big smile at someone in church and I turn around, assuming they're making a face at him or something, but no, they're not even looking at him!
Crazy alert: sometimes when Cooper is looking at someone and they're still able to pay attention to the lesson I get kind of annoyed! Hello, drop what you're doing and tell me how cute my kid is!.... Wow I'm crazy.
Speaking of Sundays, Cooper also enjoys watching people walk into the chapel, it's basically like watching a parade. Only better. And more exciting.
Blowing spit bubbles.
Talking to his fingers. Well talking to anything really. The tablecloth, his toys, the wall... but mostly to his fingers.
Standing up (with help of course.) He's pretty much over this lying on a blanket business. That stuff is for babies.
Spending bedtime using his legs to propel himself to the other end of the crib to chew on the crib bars.
Bananas.
His daddy. He even likes to sit and watch his daddy watch tv. It's so so funny.
Being tickled and teased.
Being called a "beebee"
Fake coughing
Fighting sleep to the death. He lays there and shakes his head back and forth as fast as he can for the longest time. I don't really know what to say about this- it's kind of bizarre to watch. Must have been all the barbecue chips I ate when I was pregnant. Addled his brain.
Dislikes:
Naps. In fact naps are 1-100 on the dislikes.
Being over tired. Hmm... See a pattern?
Being sick.
Having shots.
Peas
Being alone in a room for longer than a minute.
Trying to roll over.
Going to sleep.
Getting dressed.
Getting out of the bath tub.
Getting his ears cleaned out with q-tips. This kid produce so much ear wax, it's not even funny.
Getting his boogers sucked out.
Mostly I feel like baby Cooper is a happy, chatty, rambunctious, tease.. We will see if I end up being right.
Some pictures of Cooper this month:
I was in the kitchen doing some dishes, I left him in the middle of his blanket playing, I came out 5 minutes later and he was completely asleep and he had his blanket completely over his face. Sad I didn't capture the blanket over his head but I had to quick make sure he wasn't suffocating.
He used to be facing the other way and at the other end of the crib, and this is how we found him an hour later.
He's figured out how to yank his binkie out of his mouth. Maybe he'll figure out how to put it back in one day?
Another weird sleep position.
Friday, January 11, 2013
Despicable Me
This post is more for me to remind myself to be a better person, rather than an informative post about what we've been up to. For those interested in the latter, we've been up to the same old stuff... Solid foods make more solid (and smellier) poops. Cooper finally rolled over back to stomach. Except he hates being on his stomach and cries once he rolls over and gets stuck on his tummy. My cute little guy. That's about it, so feel free to read no further.
A little back story to the realization that I am indeed a rotten person. The house we were going to buy fell through. And since then we've been back to the trying to decide whether to buy a house when we don't know exactly how long we're going to be here. And I think we've decided to continue renting and casually looking for a step up in Josh's career. Um did you know that there are like 17 levels of city planners? It's actually kind of annoying. And my dear sweet husband wants to eventually be the city planner that rules them all :) so I'm sure he'll have a few different jobs in different cities in the years to come. Anyway, I've been a little bummed about it, and have been trying to make peace with living in our little condo for the time being. Our condo is pretty cute, it has a fireplace that we use all the time, it's pretty big, we've been able to pick out paint colors, Cooper has his own bathroom so I can shower without standing in a baby bathtub, it has closet organizers (best thing that ever happened to me by the way), and it's a pretty good price for our surprise I want to be a stay at home mom lifestyle. So why am I so cranky pants? Because I can hear my neighbors and I think Cooper deserves to sleep in deathly quiet! (And deserves to be the president, and get an olympic gold medal, and yadda yadda yadda this mom business has turned me absolutely insane.) Though yesterday the neighbors were gone all day and he still only took 45 minute naps so it's probably not their fault at all. Anyway I have been harboring ill will towards them! Like I said- rotten.
So cut to last night, I go out and shovel the sidewalks because I love shoveling. I'm like 50 feet away from our condo and guess what? I can hear Cooper crying. And not faintly either, loudly. I should mention Josh was there with him, I don't leave my babe alone, please don't report me. And it hits me how much my poor neighbors must want me dead. And I realized that listening to Cooper's hissy fits must be much worse than any toddler's bouncy balls or anyone using an electric drill. And I should probably be very glad no one has tried to burn our place down yet. Rotten rotten me.
So to add to my resolution list- I would like to not be so self centered when it comes to Cooper. Yes, once a drill woke him up, but the person drilling was probably trying to use the electric drill to give himself a lobotomy because he just listened to Cooper crying for 15 minutes.
So if anyone has any little I'm-sorry-my-son-is-so-loud-and-has-probably-ruined-your-life gift ideas for the neighbors let me know. I'm thinking something nice accompanied by ear plugs might be good. And maybe a bottle of sleeping pills.
P.S. this mama grizzly thing has got to go. It would be a useful instinct if we lived in some lawless, pagan society and I had to protect Cooper from the sand people. But we don't- so I really need to tone down the crazy. Or as Josh would say, "retract the claws."
So here's our little Beach house (for now)... And I shall be happy about living here!
P.S. this mama grizzly thing has got to go. It would be a useful instinct if we lived in some lawless, pagan society and I had to protect Cooper from the sand people. But we don't- so I really need to tone down the crazy. Or as Josh would say, "retract the claws."
So here's our little Beach house (for now)... And I shall be happy about living here!
Also I just realized I referenced Lord of the Rings and Star Wars in this post. What has Josh done to me.
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Bananas Over Bananas
Tonight I gave Cooper his first taste of solid food! Yes I know, studies recommend waiting until 6 months to decrease the risk of food allergies, blah blah blah, mommy judge me if you want. Cooper has been watching absolutely everything I eat and moving his mouth like he's chewing and in general just making me feel really guilty about eating in front of him. He even gets super excited about seeing the bag of popcorn that we got for Christmas because somehow he knows it's food? Can't find his feet but somehow knows exactly when mommy and daddy are eating. Also he's becoming less interested in his bottle and wanting to play with it instead, so I thought well I'll just mash up a bite of banana and he won't want it and I can stop feeling guilty about someone giving me the death stare while I eat...
He LOVED it! He ate from his spoon right away, swallowed all his mouthfuls, and kicked his legs, screamed with joy after every swallow. He would even open his mouth when he saw the spoon coming after a couple bites. You're not supposed to give them more than a few tablespoons their first few feedings so we had to take his banana mush away and man was he sad. Poor guy. Josh and I felt so guilty at his pining puppy dog eyes, but we don't want this little guy to get sick. I think he would've eaten the whole banana if we let him.
Clearly this little guy needs more than milk to maintain his girth.
Had I know the little turkey was actually going to eat his food and be so in love with it, I would have started off with a vegetable or rice cereal, or actually had made a decent amount of baby food. Not thrown a banana in a blender on a whim while making cajun chicken with dirty rice (which incidentally was very very good and super healthy.) Oh well- mommy judge away.
These pictures don't really capture the joy that was Cooper. You'll just have to take my word for it.
He LOVED it! He ate from his spoon right away, swallowed all his mouthfuls, and kicked his legs, screamed with joy after every swallow. He would even open his mouth when he saw the spoon coming after a couple bites. You're not supposed to give them more than a few tablespoons their first few feedings so we had to take his banana mush away and man was he sad. Poor guy. Josh and I felt so guilty at his pining puppy dog eyes, but we don't want this little guy to get sick. I think he would've eaten the whole banana if we let him.
Clearly this little guy needs more than milk to maintain his girth.
Had I know the little turkey was actually going to eat his food and be so in love with it, I would have started off with a vegetable or rice cereal, or actually had made a decent amount of baby food. Not thrown a banana in a blender on a whim while making cajun chicken with dirty rice (which incidentally was very very good and super healthy.) Oh well- mommy judge away.
These pictures don't really capture the joy that was Cooper. You'll just have to take my word for it.
Take that bananas.
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