Phone Conversations with Strangers

Yesterday I spent most of the day on the phone with various places in Aberdeen trying to find something to rent. For some reason no one has a website, or even a facebook page, or usually a phone number. On the rare occasion I do find a phone number, I have to call and try to pry some information out of these people. I had some completely ridiculous conversations with some people who I'm pretty sure should be unemployable. Enjoy.

Me: So I'm wondering if you still have this apartment for rent.
Lady: No. But we might have something else available.
Me: Ok
Lady: silence
Me: Well can you check?
Lady: Yes. More silence.
Me: Ok... Do you want to check now? Or should I give you my phone number to call me back after you've checked?
Lady: Sure. I'll check this afternoon (it's 9 a.m.) but if you don't hear from me, don't call me back. We get really busy here sometimes.
Ok lady... I won't call you back, I promise.

Me: Hi I'm wondering if you still have this apartment for rent.
Man: Nope it's been took.
That darn apartment-bandit. He's been tooking apartments all day.

Me: Hi I'm calling about your apartments, I'm relocating to the area from Utah and since you don't seem to have a website or any pictures online, I was wondering if maybe you could e-mail me some pictures of the rentals?
Lady: Um... Well... It's just kind of confusing for me because the phone keeps cutting out.
Me: Oh sorry.
Lady: It's probably because you're calling from so far away.
Yep, that must be the problem.

Me: Hi I'm wondering if you still have this apartment for rent.
Man: No we don't but we do have some other units.
Me: Ok, can you tell me about those?
Man: Well they're just like our apartments, the only thing is they're about half the size, they don't have a dishwasher, no washer/dryer and no fridge.
Me: Oh. Um what do people use for a fridge? (At this point out of sheer curiosity, not because I would ever live there.)
Man: Well most of your food comes in boxes or cans (that sounds like a balanced diet) and for your milk and eggs you can put them in the mini fridge in the office.
We have a winner!

Me: Hi, I'm wondering if you have any properties for rent that might be a good fit for my family, we'd need at least 2 bedrooms.
Lady: Oh we do have a house for rent that's 3 bedrooms in the area.
Me: Oh really? That sounds like it could be good, could you give me some more information about it?
Lady: Well the only thing is that the previous tenant was an ax-thrower (what? is that a thing?) and he used to practice indoors so there are a lot of wood chips everywhere.
How to choose between crazy ax-man's house and a place with no refrigerator.

So there it is folks. By the sound of it not only do we have some great housing options awaiting us, we have some even greater friends.