Jokes on Josh

In a couple weeks Josh and I are going to Los Angeles to see Harry Potter Land and fulfill my 12 year old's life wish. We've rented a condo with AirBNB and have had several discussions about the likelihood that we're going to get murdered. Work was slow today so I decided to create a fake email account and email Josh pretending to be the condo owner.

Hi Josh,
We are looking forward to your upcoming trip with us! We are wondering if you could send us a photo of yourself before you come. Preferably an 8x10 ASAP. We can't wait to show you around the town! Thanks!

-Addie

To my surprise Josh emails back with a photo of us and says,

Addie,
Here is a recent photo of my wife and I.
-Josh

Thanks for throwing me under the bus Josh. This could be a murderer. So I responded,

Josh,
Oh is your wife going to be auditioning too? Is this the best head shot you have? A lot of the auditions I have set up for you are just extra roles but they do still expect a nice head shot. Also, do you have any other special talents that I should know about as your agent? Thanks!

-Addie

Addie,
I think there is some confusion as to what our intentions are. We were just planning on using this as a place to stay on our vacation.

We are not looking to audition for anything.

I thought it was a bit strange that you wanted head shots.

-Josh

Josh,
I'm terribly sorry for the confusion. Most people who book with us want the whole L.A. experience. I understand if you don't want to audition BUT I have set up some great auditions for you that any aspiring actor would kill for! Including a homicide victim on Law and Order: Criminal Intent! Most actors would audition for years to get the chance for this role so I definitely want to make sure before I cancel it. Thanks!

-Addie

At this point Josh is freaking out and it takes everything I have not to laugh when he reads me these emails. He's starting to get very concerned.

Addie,
Sorry about that, I didn't get that impression from your listing, nor do any of the reviews reference that type of experience.

If that's a problem we can look elsewhere for our trip, let me know.

-Josh

Josh,
Well the thing is that I already committed to the casting agent for you for this role. Here, I'll send you the script. It's only a few lines and shouldn't take more than a couple hours to film. Normally I would have other actors that I could pull from but they all recently got busted at the same time! Cops, am I right? Thanks!

-Addie

Attached to that email I sent Josh a script I found online from Law and Order where Josh plays a pimp.

Addie,
There was no indication that if someone stayed there they would be required to go on auditions.

I have zero interest in doing so, please refund my money and we will look elsewhere for accommodations.

-Josh

Josh,
I mean Jimmy would be perfect for the part, quite honestly I don't know if you are believable as a pimp, but Jimmy is an actual pimp. It's the perfect role for him. But unfortunately over 20 grams qualifies as "intent to sell." Who knew? So now Jimmy's out and you're the only one left.

-Addie

Addie,
Please refund my money or I will call Airbnb.

-Josh

Josh,
I'm sorry for the misunderstanding, in future I will no longer assume people are booking the L.A. experience that we have carefully cultivated. However I have already spent 50% of your money on casting calls and head shots.

-Addie

At this point, Josh is absolutely livid and I am having the time of my life. But I can no longer continue my prank as he is about to call Airbnb. Alas...